[Cure] A Crap Guide to Medicine
It is now time for the second STEAM Action Project of the term! In this unit, we have been talking all about drugs and medications, their ingredients, and their effects. We talked about the difference between a substance, a drug, and medications. A substance is something you consume, a drug is something you consume for an effect, and a medication is something you consume for a medical effect. We did a presentation on how a drug works. My group chose Medical Marijuana and we talked about how cannabinoids affect the body. To experience a drug without having actual drugs in class, we tried Miracle Berries, which essentially take away our sour-tasting receptors and allow us to only taste the flavors behind (which often was sweet). For this Action Project, we have been tasked with choosing a symptom and recommending three medications/remedies for someone who has this symptom, one that you need a prescription for, one that you can buy over the counter, and one kind of home remedy. I chose a cough. I decided to do my AP in a slightly different format than normal. I made a script based on the A Crap Guide to D&D (5th Edition) by Jocat. Here it is!
CRAP GUIDE TO MEDICINE SCRIPT
First few frames:
!WARNING!
ANY JABS I THROW AT ANY REMEDY ARE MERELY FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES ONLY. EVERY REMEDY ON THIS LIST IS WORTH RESEARCHING MORE AND DECIDING WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. THE VIEWS OF LUCRAP DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF LUCAS. MY ACTUAL OPINION IS THAT YOU SHOULD STAY SAFE AND FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS OF MEDICAL PROFFESIONALS, SOMETHING THAT I AM NOT.
THIS IS INSPIRED BY “A CRAP GUIDE TO DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS 5E” BY JOCAT
https://www.youtube.com/c/JoCat
Dramatic Inhale
WHAT WAS THAT I HEARD
A COUGH DURING THE PANDEMIC
IT WAS YOU WASN’T IT
Fortunately for you, I’m here to tell you about some remedies for that itchy throat of yours
WELCOME TO A CRAP GUIDE TO MEDICINE
Intro Song - 17-29
Now if you are experiencing a cough that doesn’t necessarily mean you have the big scary one. You might have the flu or even the common cold.
Whatever the sickness, there are quite a few methods to help and even negate your body’s response to having stuff in your breathing tubes
In fact, because I’m so nice, I’ll walk you through three different types of remedies and an example from each.
The first of these is the easy and probably most effective way to cure that assault on the inhale vault.
You do need to visit a doctor and have them write a note that you can’t read that tells the pharmacist to give you the good stuff.
One example of a prescription is codeine which is an opioid (yes THOSE opioids) which means it's more addictive than arguing is to the sophomores.
This means it’s a big boy drug so don’t go giving it to children.
Codeine by itself is used to relieve mild pain but when in combination with other drugs it can reduce coughing (yay).
Codeine is kinda of like those annoying groups of people that take up the whole sidewalk when I’m just trying to walk five minutes to the walgreens but they apparently want to live the rest of their life on this sidewalk except the sidewalk is the communication pathways between nerves and I am the signals they send to each other. This stops the pain as the nerves can’t tell each other that they are hurt, like I can’t tell the walgreens that I just want my dang takis.
The most common combination of these is acemet- acetamiph- ace- ace-exhale THE STUFF IN TYLENOL with a small portion of codeine.
If you don’t know, acetaminophen (also called paracetamol) helps relieve fevers and headaches so you can go back to doing nothing (but without pain)
Because humans have small smooth brains we don’t actually know how it does that.
Some say it messes with the part of your brain that controls heat to bring it down low but even those with an intelligence score of 20 don’t know.
The only active ingredients in the acetaminophen and codeine drug are acetaminophen and codeine but often there are these fun inactive things in it which do this.
powdered cellulose - anticaking, magnesium stearate - consistency and quality, sodium metabisulfite† - antioxidant agent, pregelatinized starch (corn) - improves tablet durability and integrity, and corn starch - dissolves the medicine in your mouth.
Of course like anything the combination drug has side effects. Most prominently it can make you constipated and have difficulty urinating but who needs to do that anyway.
It can also cause all of these things
Quickly scroll by
nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, weakness, or dizziness, agitation, hallucinations (seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist), fever, sweating, confusion, fast heartbeat, shivering, severe muscle stiffness or twitching, loss of coordination, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea, red, peeling or blistering skin, rash, hives, itching, swelling of the face, throat, tongue, lips, eyes, hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs, hoarseness, difficulty breathing or swallowing, inability to get or keep an erection, irregular menstruation
ALWAYS listen to your doctor when they’re telling you stuff as smelly as they might be but codeine is usually taken in your mouth hole every four hours as needed.
The second of these remedies is slightly easier to get but still requires you to get off your butt and go to the Walgreens that's a whole five blocks away.
This is the everyday medicine you can just buy and take as needed because you can’t make it through the day without some sort of substance in you
Shows coffee
Trom trom trom trom trom trom trom
Now trom is most commonly used in a product called Nyquil which is absolutely repulsive when it’s cherry flavored.
The way trom works is it gives your brain a few hour bathroom break as it works so hard to keep you coughing. The trom goes in the brain from your blood and activates certain receptors that tell your brain you don’t need to cough.
Of course you’ll spend this period of time always waiting for that next cough which is just as if not more irritating than actually coughing.
Nyquil contains Acetaminophen (yes the stuff from before in Tylenol keep up) and phenylephrine hydrochloride which clears up that snot out of your snot slot in addition to clearing your cough.
Trom also includes all of these things and there’s too many to talk about individually it’s time for a LIGHTNING ROUND
Citric Acid
MAKES IT FIZZ
FD&C Yellow No. 6\
MAKES IT YELLOW
Flavour
MAKES IT TASTE AWFUL
Glycerin
MAKES IT MOIST
Propylene Glycol
MAKES IT DISSOLVE
Purified Water
ITS WATER
Sodium Benzoate
MAKES IT LAST FORGOTTEN IN YOUR CABINET
Sodium Chloride
MAKES IT TASTE EVEN MORE AWFUL
Sodium Citrate
MAKES IT NOT EXPLODE
Sodium Saccharin
MAKES IT TASTE SOMEHOW MORE AWFUL
Sorbitol
MAYBE IF THERE WERE LESS INGREDIENTS FOR TASTE IT WOULD TASTE SO AWFUL
Sucralose
THIS IS YET ANOTHER INGREDIENT THAT ONLY SERVES THE PURPOSE OF TASTING BAD
Xanthan Gum
MAKES IT THICKKKKK
Lightning round over
As always there are many side effects that are said at the end of the commercial as quickly as possible so you don’t actually hear them.
Scroll by
- dizziness
- lightheadedness
- drowsiness
- nervousness
- restlessness
- nausea
- vomiting
- stomach pain
- rash
Trom is very versatile with you being able to [in the style of bop it] DRINK IT, CHEW IT, DISSOLVE IT AND MORE!
You tend to DRINK IT, CHEW IT, DISSOLVE IT AND MORE every 4-12 hours as needed, but of course always follow the label.
And finally, the remedy you’ve been waiting forrrrrrrrrr CHICKEN SOUP
This is of course the remedy that is completely up to the person who’s sick to regulate.
I don’t think it’s possible to die via soup consumption but if I am wrong and you’ve died from soup, feel free to educate me.
You might be wondering why exactly the soup works, and it is because chicken soup is actually gods gift to mankind
It’s got electrolytes in the broth to hydrate you when you’re low on fluids, which often happens when you are coughing up everything you consume.
It’s got carbs and proteins in the meat and the NOODLES to help you keep your energy levels high, which you often are low on when you are coughing up eveything you consume.
It is also usually warm which just feels good in your belly.
All of this comes together to create a food that is surprisingly quite good for you when you have a cough.
It seems to be one of humanities greatest coincidences that we have decided to do this because this seems to just be common knowledge from way before we know why it works.
And of course, it tastes good
mMmmmm
Now which of these should you take? The soup is good in any scenario but between the prescription and over the counter drug, it depends on how badly you’re dying.
If you’re on deaths door it might be a good idea to go to the doctor and get a prescription drug. Just maybe
If you’re feeling mostly fine, get the over the counter. It all comes down to how badly you think you need it.
And now you know how to take druMEDICATION you’re welcome
Theme song on top of sources
Works Cited
Center. “Codeine Information.” U.S. Food and Drug Administration, 2018, www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/codeine-information#:~:text=Codeine%20is%20an%20opioid%20pain,some%20cough%20and%20cold%20medications.
“Codeine.” Healthdirect.gov.au, Healthdirect Australia, 13 Sept. 2021, www.healthdirect.gov.au/codeine#work.
“Codeine: MedlinePlus Drug Information.” Medlineplus.gov, 2020, medlineplus.gov/druginfo/meds/a682065.html.
“Dextromethorphan: MedlinePlus Drug Information.” Medlineplus.gov, 2022, medlineplus.gov/druginfo/meds/a682492.html#:~:text=Dextromethorphan%20is%20used%20to%20temporarily,class%20of%20medications%20called%20antitussives
“Fact or Fiction: Is Chicken Noodle Soup Actually Beneficial for Fighting a Cold? - News Story.” Valleychildrens.org, 2019, www.valleychildrens.org/news/news-story?news=194.
“Tylenol-Codeine.” RxList, RxList, 14 Sept. 2021, www.rxlist.com/tylenol-codeine-drug.htm.
“Paracetamol.” Healthdirect.gov.au, Healthdirect Australia, 18 July 2021, www.healthdirect.gov.au/paracetamol.
“Smart Label.” Pg.com, 2022, smartlabel.pg.com/00323900014794.html.
And that’s the Action Project! I found this project very fun because I was able to do it in a new and interesting format! If I were to do this project again, I might pick a more rare symptom than coughing so I’d learn more new stuff. Other than that, I had a lot of fun and learning. This is the second to last STEAM AP of the year, so stay tuned for the final one!
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